Today I felt like I am on an emotional roller coaster ride. This morning my boss surmoned me into his office and gave back to me my performance review for 2005. In it, he not only wrote a lot of nice things about me but also he fully supported my desire to be more involved in cost accounting function and financial statement preparation. I also got a 3.5% pay raise effective in Feb. Hooray. Although it's not a whole lot of money, I am happy that all my hard work got recognized. I felt appreciated.
When I got home,somebody had left a message on my answering machine. That was when the roller coaster from hell began. It was from Dr. Spencer, my neurologist. She told me my MRI test results had come back and there was some abnormality in the results. It seemed that there was a small amount of bleeding occurring around the frontal lobe of my brain, which may have contributed to my several sudden fainting episodes in the past. She said she is going to order another kind of MRI for me on Monday. She also mentoned putting me on some kind of stroke medication. At that point, my heart started to sink and I felt my fainting spells kicking in again. Dr. Spencer is a renowned neurologist at Yale Medical School whom I recently engaged to find out why I am so prone to fainting. I had been sent to the emergency room numerous times in the past because of these unexplained syncopes. Every time, the doctors ran some tests and were stumped thenI was discharged. I already considered this as something I have to learn to live with. But in recent years, the frequency of those incidents has increased. I started to get very worried when I passed out subsequent to hurting my ankle while hiking in November 2005. A friend of mine who witnessed the whole process said I had a seizure.
I said a prayer just now and begged God to have mercy on me. I feel calm now. I decided I am not going to worry myself to death. Whatever happens in the future, I will take it as it comes. Eat, drink and be merry everybody since you don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow.
